5/31/2019
The Peace of God That Transcends All Understanding
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
In my first book, Pain Drives Change, I share how God used the pain of separation and ultimately divorce to change me from the inside out into the man I am today. I talk briefly about the men in my life who carried me in a season when I felt all alone. I will be forever grateful to Bob and Steve for serving me with a selfless love and teaching me how to be a man of God.
That was 20 years ago. Steve, Bob were the only men in my life. But Bob introduce me to some great men. Through these men I met other great men and before I knew it I looked around and realized I was surrounded by dozens of incredible men. Men who would (and have) dropped everything to support and encourage me.
It’s been less than 72 hours since I was diagnosed with cancer and already I’m overwhelmed with the love and support I’ve received from these men.
Scott dropped everything and listened as I almost inaudibly said “I have cancer”. I could feel his tears on the other end of the phone and when he said he would do anything to support and encourage me, I knew he meant it. And I knew his prayers would be earnest and continuous.
Dave responded immediately as well. As a man of great faith he reminded me that God is the great healer and that he had personally experienced healing in hundreds of people. I left the call feeling great hope in my future.
Chuck answered in disbelief, but then quickly went into fervent prayer with me on the phone. Soon after his wife offered to take care of our children at anytime if we should need it. I’ve received a number of texts from Chuck over the last few days, always reminding me that he is praying for me and has assembled an army with his mom to pray for me as well.
Don was fishing and out of cell range (fishing for Halibut in Alaska!) but when he saw my text he immediately responded. He promised to pray for me and I know he will. He prayed for healing over my wife during her 2nd bout of cancer and I’m certain God interceded to free her of cancer through his prayers.
Bob called me back almost immediately. I could hear the pain in his voice when I whimpered out those words “I have cancer”. He asked if I wanted to have lunch, much like he did 20 years ago when I shared I was separated from my wife. He reminded me that his phone was on 24 hours a day and I could call if I needed anything. I know from experience these were more than words, he genuinely meant it.
My boss, Sean, responded to my text when I told him I was going to be late for a meeting. He encouraged me to take the day off. His support continues to overwhelm me, reminding me that he and Microsoft will do everything possible to help me through this. I know he means it because he did everything possible including giving me a month off to care for my wife last year during her recovery from cancer. He reminded me again today, “Whatever you need you’ve got”.
Greg answered and was overwhelmed with joy to hear from me. When I shared I had cancer his tone shifted to genuine love and concern. He immediately went into prayer with me on the phone and prayed a very powerful prayer for me, a prayer to save my life so I can continue to build my family and expand His kingdom. Greg encouraged me to take the day off and process everything, and I took his advice. I thanked him for his wisdom and guidance in my life-to write my book and become a coach.
Fred was overwhelmed with disbelief and grief. I could feel his love and compassion as we talked on the phone. Fred asked if he could assemble a group of people to lay hands on me and pray over me at church, a gesture that touched me deeply. He texted me later in the day and shared that he could barely focus on work but that he was praying fervently on my behalf. When I arrived for my PET scan he was sitting there waiting for me. He reminded me that I wasn’t alone, hugged me and grabbed my hand as he prayed over me openly in the lobby!
The men I coach in Change YOUniversity responded immediately in prayer and encouragement. My co-workers have offered to help in anyway possible, one of them even said he’d bring me whatever food I wanted if I felt trapped at home!
Steve, always the engineer, picked up the phone and was pleasantly surprised to hear from me. After a few minutes of catching up I shared that I have cancer. Steve quickly shared his grief and then quickly jumped into engineer mode, reminding me that cancer is very treatable today and that the science of understanding cancer and how to treat it has improved dramatically. He then reminded me of how big God is and that He can cure this cancer. He then did as Steve often does. He told me how proud he was of me and reminded me of how much it means to him that I’d call and share. He said he couldn’t do much, but he would pray. I remember Steve’s prayers, they were always powerful and after he prayed there always seemed to be a breakthrough. He is the righteous man from the book of James, ‘the prayer of a righteous man availeth much”. I invited Steve to join us on Sunday when many people would be laying hands on me. He said “you never know, I might just be out for a drive and show up.”
To say that I’m blessed with people who love me and care deeply for me and my family is an understatement. As of this writing I’ve only shared this news with a few people, and I’m overwhelmed with their love and support. I hope to blog openly through this journey and I’m certain that when I share more broadly I’ll be reminded of how many people God has put in my path and blessed me with.
As I am writing this I’m preparing to reach out to Joe. Joe was my pastor and prayed over me at the altar at Cedar Park Church as the Holy spirit transformed me into the man I’ve become. It’s been almost 20 years, but I can still hear Joe’s words that he always closed services with, the same words that describe how I’m feeling as I write this.
“and may the peace of God that transcends all understanding guard your hearts and minds forevermore”.
Joe answered the phone and shared how good it was to hear from me. He congratulated me on my recent coaching certificate and asked how I was doing. I thanked him for how he always closed services and told him those words from Philippians were bringing me enormous peace. I shared that I couldn’t explain it, but I was experiencing the peace of God that transcends all understanding. Then he prayed. WOW. I’d forgotten how powerful Joe’s prayers were, but I could feel the Holy Spirit surround me and bring me peace as he prayed. He prayed that I would find rest in green fields. Interesting, I’ve found enormous peace sitting on my deck in front of the fire and looking at my “green field”, my backyard.
I heard back from Boyd today. We had a great talk as we haven’t chatted for a few months. When I shared that I have cancer he was shocked. He’s walked through many trials with me and he reminded me that the trials just keep coming at me. He also reminded me that my ability to find peace in the trials has always impressed him. Then he prayed and declared Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose eyes are fixed on you”.
I received the news Tuesday that I had cancer. I waited a week for the results of the biopsy and every day of the week before I heard the news I felt my anxiety increasing. My anxiety continued increasing for a few minutes after I heard the news. I have cancer. It’s in my lymph node. Will I die? What will my kids do without a dad? Will my wife be ok? How will my older children handle the news? How severe is the cancer? When will I know?
Uncertainty leads to anxiety
As simple as it sounds, anxiety stems from uncertainty. In life, there isn’t anything you’ll face that produces more uncertainty than the news of cancer. The uncertainty about whether or not you will live or die and the impact on your family produces a level of anxiety that is difficult to explain.
I’m sure you are asking the question, why are you writing a chapter called the peace of God that transcends all understanding if just 3 days ago you were overwhelmed with fear? That’s a great question.
A question for which I don’t have an easy answer. Why do I have so much peace when I have cancer? A cancer that could easily take my life if it has spread beyond this lymph node. A cancer that was discovered because I felt a lump on my neck. Why was I feeling my neck about 6 weeks ago and why did you allow me to feel a lump that I hadn’t noticed before? Why did the doctor say he wasn’t concerned but I told him that I was concerned because I’d seen cancer so many times? Why did the same doctor prescribe me Vitamin C but didn’t request a follow-up appointment? Why did I press him and say I wanted a follow-up appointment, and then I scheduled it a week later? Why did he say he still wasn’t concerned after I came back and the lump hadn’t changed size? Why did he choose, in that instant, to prescribe a CT scan? He openly acknowledged that he wasn’t concerned but was doing the CT scan for ME, not for him?
Why did the radiologist and the same doctor say that they didn’t see anything concerning? Why did the same doctor send me to a specialist to make sure everything was ok? Why was there an opening the same day and why did I choose to take that appointment when I had other meetings at work? Why did she say that she wasn’t concerned either, that she didn’t see anything on the CT scan? Why did I feel the need to push her as well, sharing that my own wife had cancer twice and my sister had cancer of the lymph nodes? Why did she say “because of the history of cancer in your family I want to be certain”? What prompted her to order a needle biopsy under ultrasound to be sure that there were no false negatives?
Why did my resting heart rate increase by 7 points in 7 days to the highest it had been in a year in the days waiting for the results of the needle biopsy only to plummet the same 7 points after I received the news I was diagnosed with cancer?
It’s easy to SAY I’m experiencing the peace of God that transcends all understanding but my resting heart rate is the data that supports my statement. I’ve been tracking my resting heart rate for about a year and a half and I’ve discovered that my sense of internal peace is DIRECTLY correlated with my resting heart rate. Even a single point increase or decrease in my resting heart rate predicts my overall anxiety, and even others can see the difference in my demeanor when my resting heart rate is low!
Uncertainty Leads to Anxiety but Predictability Brings Peace
It’s undeniable. As I sit here writing this I am four and a half hours from my doctors appointment. The results came in yesterday, the nurses assistant called and said Dr. Heydt wanted to see me today and was making room in her schedule to do so. In 4.5 hours I’ll be sitting in Dr. Heydt’s office and she will share the results of my PET Scan. The results could say that it hasn’t spread or the results could say that the cancer is terminal. I don’t know what they will say, but I know this….
God’s got this! I’ve walked through trial after trial after trial in my life. Debbie and I have walked through trial after trial after trial in our lives. And we ALWAYS make it through. We lean into Him in our trials, we pray for His will to be done, we lift our hands up to the heavens and we pray that He would be glorified through our trials. And he refines us. Our trials strengthen our faith, making us perfect and complete lacking in nothing as James 1:2-4 promises.
And this trial is another refinement.
Predictability Brings Peace
I feel the peace of God that transcends all understanding as I sit here and write this. Predictability brings peace, yet NOTHING about my situation is predictable. But there is one thing that is predictable. God’s got this. No matter what the prognosis is today, He will be glorified. The opposite of fear is faith. My faith in God in this trial gives me absolute predictability that He’s in control of my life. He holds my life in His hands and He will be glorified in this.
Thank you Jesus for the peace that transcends all understanding. Thank you Jesus that I know you and I know YOU’ve got this. Thank you Jesus that I’m not alone, that you’ve surrounded me with men who love me and are carrying me. Thank you for the text I just received from Fred, thank you that I feel your arms tightly around me. Thank you for my band of brothers who are praying for me and my family and thank you that I’m NOT alone.
Lord, as I sit in my office I listen to worship music and I feel close to you. I listen to the words and they penetrate my soul and draw me even closer to you. I am raising my hands to the heavens and I’m singing Hallelujah, you are my God.
In Your Presence
As I stand here in your presence
Of your beauty I will always stand in awe
I reach my hands out to the heavens, yeah,
And I lift my voice to you alone.
To you alone
As I bow my head before you,
I lay my burdens down at your nail pierced feet,
Every ounce of you
Radiates your glory,
With you I know that I am complete.
And I sing Hallelujah,
You are my God,
Maker of heavens,
Hallelujah, you are my Lord,
I bow before your presence, yeah.
As I stand here in your presence,
Of your beauty I will always stand in awe,
I reach my hands out to the heavens, yeah,
And I lift my voice to you alone
And I sing Hallelujah,
You are my God,
Maker of the heavens,
Hallelujah
You are the Lord of all,
Maker of all the heavens,
I can only kneel before your presence,
All the nations praise your Holy Name
You are the great I Am,
More than I can reason,
I realize more that I am needing you
You are worthy, you are worthy
Lord
You are worthy, you are worthy,
You are mighty, You are mighty,
You are mighty, You are holy,
You are mighty, You are holy
For I Know The Plans I have For You, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for a future and a hope
Father, I rest in your promise that you plan to prosper me and not harm me. I proclaim this promise and I hold it in my heart as I head out to have lunch with my wife before the prognosis.
I’m writing this BEFORE my doctor’s appointment when we will hear the results of my PET Scan. I’m writing it down as Habakkuk 2:2-3 says so that it WILL come to pass.